Little Lambs Eat Ivy

The Latest at the Ewings

2011-10-14T09:13:00.017-04:00

Woo Hoo!!! A photo was finally posted on the USAF BMT fb page that has Nathaniel's face in it!!!!!

He looks very somber and exhausted, but it is just SO good to see his face. :)

His last letter says he is enjoying the marching and finds BMT quite easy, "just follow the rules". The hardest part for him is that it's "...kinda boring. The stuff isn't that hard." He has made it his goal to graduate with honors. Currently Nathaniel is able to do 74 push-ups in 60 seconds, making him top in his flight for this. He continues to experience severe headaches from this kind of exertion though, so please pray for him regarding that.

Check out another new item... Luke's new look!!!!

Ok, that is not Luke's new look exactly. He is trying so hard to give a big frown. lol

What is really new are the glasses!!!

I had suspected since Luke came home that he needed glasses, but it was not a pressing need until recently when he kept complaining of his eyes tiring while reading. Now, doesn't our boy look studious?!

Now, I want to show you the new apron that I made for myself, from some of my favorite fabric. I also made one for my mom and sister, (hopefully will post pictures of those later).

And my final share point for today is Ryan singing at the CHRF Annual Church Campout Talent Show, Come Thou Fount. He did a fantastic job!! Everyone praised him. He kept his eyes closed the whole time so that he wouldn't be distracted. It must have worked! At one point many of the men in the audience seems compelled to join in. It felt quite inspired. It was such a blessing and he did so well. Click Here to hear Ryan him sing.

I am thankful for...

2011-09-26T06:40:00.003-04:00

... for a first phone call from my son at basic training! Yay!! :))

... for a face book page with pictures of boys in boot camp! (Maybe his face will show up soon!) USAF Basic Military Training

... for the excitement of things to come.

... for new days and fresh hope.

Trying to be Thankful

2011-09-22T12:44:00.010-04:00

I am thankful for...

... for french fries with ketchup.

... for warm, moist air that feels so tropical.

... for pretty new ducks in the back yard.

... for baby turtles eating, drinking and toddling around.

... for naps.

... for...

.......the strength to take the next breath.

Edit Note

2011-09-13T14:21:00.001-04:00

I missed the memo. No Christmas visit this year from Nathaniel. We will make a trip to TX for his basic training graduation, then will see him when he returns to the east coast in DE.

Engaged!!!

2011-09-13T10:17:00.010-04:00

It seems life doesn't like to sit still. We are excited to find another of our kids ready to
begin a life on his own. Nathaniel has asked Christa to marry him and she said yes! What a beautiful girl she is too!!
First, before he marries though, he must pay his dues to the Air Force Reserves and spend some time at boot camp and then tech school. He leaves September 20th, returns for a short visit at Christmas and is off to Dover, DE in April (tentative plan). That is a tough pill to swallow. Nathaniel has a huge presence in our home. And we have all grown very close to him, especially over the past year. It seems the teen-age days are over and we have our old, very close relationships with him restored. Thanks be to God! Nathaniel will be greatly missed!!!

So, as I have learned to do during challenging times,... I will begin once again to list the many blessing that the Lord is so good to bestow upon me. It helps me to stay focused on His love and reminds me of the joy that He wishes me to live in.

So to begin my list:

I am thankful for....

for friends who remind me to keep remembering what I’m thankful for.
for ring shopping with my son.
for a big shiny diamond on a beautiful gold band ... on a pretty girl's hand.

for beautiful young girls who fall in love with boys.
for friends who pray for friends.
for scriptures that remind me how to walk in His way.
for son's strong arms to hold a hurting mom.
for listening ears and encouraging words.

for photos.

for music.

for sunshine.

for hope.

Bugs!

2011-05-20T19:56:00.003-04:00

Today, I was gone most of the day running errands. I got home and threw frozen pizzas into the oven and called Luke in from his favorite place to play, the chicken yard. He put away all his things, fed the dogs and was headed upstairs to clean up for supper when he stopped in his tracks. "Mom! I have a present for you.....I found a cockroach for the lizards. It's in my pocket!"
Now first, you have to know that we do like to get crawling bugs for our lizard pets, so catching bugs isn't all that unusual.
I asked him, "You put a cockroach in your pocket?"
"Yes ma'am!"
"Do you really think it is still there? And....you better get outside to find out!"
He steps outside and puts his hand into his back pocket. He reaches, digs, feels around. "No, I guess it's gone," he says with disappointment. He digs a little deeper, his back bending backward as he feels the corners of his back pocket.
"WAIT!! Here it is! It's still in here!.....Mom? Why don't you like cockroaches?"
Is this little boy adorable or what?!? I am so glad God blessed me with this boy to keep me laughing!

Blessed!

2011-03-27T07:58:00.003-04:00

I AM THE MOST BLESSED WOMAN IN ALL THE WORLD!!!!!
I now have a beautiful new son-in-law!! The best son-in-law in all the world! I have the best family in all the world!! And nobody compares to the immeasurable quality of my loving friends!!! You are all such an incredible blessing to me. I don't deserve one of you, but yet you love me. I am truly humbled. I love each of you too. Thank you for making the most important day in my daughter's life so absolutely perfect. :)

Thank you God for...

2011-03-12T13:29:00.005-05:00

...David making a nice flower garden for me to plant in.
...Whitney and Nathan diligently plowing away at the production of wedding party favors.
...Nathan running David to get sized for his tux, so that I don't have to.
...chickens laying more eggs than I can keep up with.
...sunshine.
...your healing touch on sick bodies.
...wild flower seeds.
...sweet,hot tea.
...wedding plans slowly coming together.
...Ryan raking leaves and cleaning the yard like a mad man.
...my parents traveling out to see us.
...Whitney baking brownies.
...Whitney planning Sunday's meal.
...my husband coming home after three days away.
...

Thank you God for...

2011-03-10T07:58:00.006-05:00

...rain.
...Shoe Buy.
...peacock feathers on baskets and pillows.
...our old wedding keepsakes that get to live a new life.
...

I am thankful for...

2011-03-09T06:34:00.003-05:00

...wedding planning with Whitney.
...lunch at Olive Garden.
...Nancy.
...Nathan cleaning my carpets. :)
...God's protection of my parents when the trailer came off the hitch on the interstate.

I'm Thankful For...

2011-03-08T06:35:00.004-05:00

...a very good night's rest.
...new decor in the living room.
...house plants. (I know I said this one before but I really like them!)
...two more chicks hatched out, arriving a little late.
...walks with Whitney and the boys.
...eggs from my own chickens.
...24 total chicks hatched, even though it was a very laggy hatch.
...

I am thankful for...

2011-03-07T05:48:00.012-05:00

...encouraging words from my loving mom-in-law. :)
...waking up to chicks pipping and hatching in the incubator.
...Lord's day fellowship with close friends.
...my darling husband. :)
...mornings when I wake way before anyone else.
...my dedicated dog who comes to find me as soon as hear me in the morning.
...fresh, Hot chicory coffee.
...anticipation of visiting family!
...five cats looking in the window...two looking out.
...six chicks so far.(6:45am)
...smoothies.
...Michael's coupons.
...6 more chicks hatched. (11:45am)
...the last piece of white on white cake.
...six more chicks. (4:45pm)
...two big black dogs nicely brushed...and I didn't do it. :)
...two more chicks! (5:45pm)
...my parents heading out tomorrow to start their journey to Virginia.
...dry red wine with dinner.
...

I'm Thankful For...

2011-03-04T06:30:00.006-05:00

...mornings, fresh and new.
...coffee with real cream and stevia.
...Nathaniel spoiling the boys with ice cream and guy-time so I could have mom-time. Yay!!!
...thrift stores.
...working traffic lights.
...tortilla coupons.
...successful garage sailing!
...Pampered Chef stones that cost only three dollars each. :)
...my daughter making meals.
...a neighbor who let us drive through his yard to get home when someone took out a power pole, blocking our road.
...a delicious meal fixed by my daughter.
...my husband arriving home safely after a week away. :)

I'm Thankful For...

2011-03-03T06:55:00.006-05:00

...my faithful dog, Cha-Roo who follows me devotedly every step I take.
...sun shining through my windows in the morning.
...the smell of clean laundry.
...smoothies.
...Manx cats.
...good friends.
...praying friends.
...wedding flowers.
...freshly raked grass.
...hard working boys.
...a pretty blue peacock made up of the letters N and W.
...hot baths.
...

I'm Thankful for...

2011-03-02T16:26:00.006-05:00

...a lunch date at Apple-Bee's with my son, he bought!
...spring warmth.
...new houseplants.
...chickens pecking corn in the yard.
...the smell of Gardenias.
...dark, healthy soil.
...fast driving on winding, country roads with someone I trust.
...

I am also thankful for...

2011-02-25T17:35:00.006-05:00

...texts received.
...chocolate.
...hope.
...a clean kitchen in the morning when it was dirty when I went to bed.
...grace given.
...grace received.
...tacos. Mmmmmmm
...trees that fall in the wind...in the right direction!
...

Thankfulness

2011-02-24T15:31:00.003-05:00

I am thankful for....
...a friend's reminder to be thankful.
...being there to hold my son while he weeps.
...long walks in the swamp.
...Red Robin.
...sweet, hot tea on a sore throat.
...little boy smiles.
...husband hugs.
...praying friends.
...wedding plans.
...peacock feathers.
...17 Beta fish in the living room.
...my mom, who understands.
...honesty.
...

Happenings in 2010 so far- It's only Sept. 28th

2010-09-28T09:48:00.005-04:00

Wow! This year has traveled past me so fast! I was shocked to realize that I had not blogged since 2009. I will definitely have to do better in the future!
Well, I have a new passion. I have begun quilting. I was slowly introduced to the art by my mom-in-law first of all with her beautiful quilts produced throughout the years for her many loved ones. Then, by a dear friend when she asked for assistance preparing a gift for her niece's wedding. I attended a quilt show shortly after that, and I was strongly enticed to try a project myself. My mom-in-law came for a visit and I asked her to bring along some quilt books to peruse. She took me shopping for fabric and helped me set up a design board. I was set! We fiddled and cut and played and planned. Then we shopped again. :) I liked that part as much as the planning. Eventually my mom-in-law had to go home. :( But I kept playing. My friend Margaret helped me sew the pieced together. Then, it sat... I had to come up with a border....and sat...and sat. Finally, I picked a border. Then it needed quilting. So, it sat...and sat...and sat....! How was I going to quilt this thing?! I was petrified!!
I had to do something even if it was wrong! So I bought my thread and put it into the machine, and started. I was done in no time. It looked great. I then quilted the border, put on the binding and signed it.
I was hooked!!! (it still took a few weeks to get it hung in the lonely spot that had waited for it for so long).

Oh, it sits a little off, and I caught some fabric on the back that didn't belong there when I was quilting it (that I didn't rip out), but I am happy with it. It was a blast to put together, and leaves me with a feeling of accomplishment.

Lots of News

2009-12-04T06:33:00.007-05:00

The Ewing Family

Here is all that is new:

Our adoption became final on November 11th! What fantastic news! That was something that Luke was anxiously awaiting in spite of our telling him continuously that he has been final to us from the day we decided to go meet him. Still, he worries. Just two days ago when we were talking about staying approved (for adoption so we can adopt more without going through the original hassle) he asked, "But I thought I was already final?" with a worried look on his face. I look forward to the time when he no longer wonders if he is really going to be ours forever, but believes he is a Ewing.

We did not find out about our adoption being final until November 16th because of a nor'easter/hurricane (Ida) that made its way up the coast. I had never seen so much water in all my life. The roads going out of our neighborhood were both flooded. One completely impassable, the other, passable only with a tall, heavy vehicle and then the water was up to the hood. It was all very exciting until we had to find a way to the emergency room. Tim had been working on the car on Thursday and had unknowingly pulled a muscle deep in his chest. By Friday, he thought something was desperately wrong. We took him to urgent care and they found nothing wrong, but said if it got worse to go to ER. Well, as the evening went on, it felt worse. So, off to the ER we went, into the storm. What an adventure it was. Every road in our route was flooded. We were rerouted several times. In the end they kept Tim overnight for observation and more testing in the morning and I went home alone. I parked four miles from home so that Nathaniel could come to get me in the Suburban. The flooded roads were deeper when I returned then they had been when we left. I had barely managed to get through the deep lake across the road on the way out. I knew I did not want to chance it alone at eleven o'clock at night in the Honda. Nathaniel had a BALL driving through the deep water. So much so that when we got home, he grabbed David and took the same route again so that David could experience it too. The end of this tale of course, is that Tim was fine. He has a strong, healthy heart and in a few days, the pulled muscle healed and he is back to normal.
Thank you Lord!

The next event in our lives was the visit of Tim's parents. What a wonderful visit it ended up being. My mom-in-law helped me to begin a watercolor quilt that I have been wanting to create for our big, empty, living room wall. This is my first quilt project, and I am anxious to see how I like the whole process. The designing is so much more fun than I had anticipated! I am looking forward to the rest of the steps with eagerness. I am a little concerned about my tendency to be a great project-starter and just as good at becoming a project-neglecter.

Also during the visit of my in-laws was the visit of son. Timothy came for only three very short days over Thanksgiving. We had a wonderful time of bonding, loving, laughing, and catching up. We enjoyed getting to see Timothy's growing talent as a guitarist as he strummed away at his old 3/4 size guitar (now Whitney's). I was also reminded of the creative side of this dear son as I watched him fiddle with the letters on the fridge and draw on the chalk table cloth. It was so wonderful to have our son home!

Toward the end of our visit with my in-laws, I pulled out a 1000 piece puzzle to work on. I was so surprised and pleased to see Luke diligently work away at it even though it was way beyond his ability. He would methodically find pieces to work on and try them and even placed a few. He did not get bored with it, nor seem frustrated. I decided to go to the thrift store and get a few 100-200 piece puzzles and see how he would do. He loves them! I have been trying to find something that Luke enjoys doing, that he will do even if nobody else cares or notices he's doing it; well, I think we finally found it! Puzzling! As I work on my quilt, he puzzles. He will puzzle for hours! Not only that, but he will make up things in his head, talk to himself with play voices and pretend. My goal has been to see him so wrapped up in his play that he will make the play/pretend noises that children make when they play. That is exactly what he is doing. I am so pleased to see him loosen up and be free in "puzzle world".

David got his braces off this week! He has new shiny teeth. We finally, after several years, have no children with braces on! Woo hoo!!! David will need a little follow-up mouth work, as his gums swelled a bit during the long time he wore braces and I am told this has to be removed. It doesn't just go away. But, he is happy. No more braces.

Now today, Tim is off in PA at a work related conference. Whitney is off walking the dog we are babysitting for one of Tim's coworkers during the conference. Nathaniel is off to work for his friend after doing his workout at the Y in Newport News. It is time to wake David and Luke so that a new school day can begin.

Heart Wrenching Discussion

2009-09-15T07:58:00.002-04:00

I thought I would share a heart-breaking and eye-opening conversation with you all. It went like this:
Last night, at the very end of story time with Dad, I said to Luke, as he was staring blankly and unwaveringly at me, "Even though you love me, it's still not nice to stare." Tim wrapped up his reading to Luke, and Luke climbed up into his bed, his eyes getting redder and wetter as he climbed. I asked him what was wrong, thinking he was sad that story time was so short. He blurted out, his tears erupting, "I feel like I don't love you!" I was confused. I asked, "Are you saying you are so mad at me that you feel like you don't love me, or are you saying you think I don't love you?" He answered that he thought I said that he didn't love me, and burst into fresh tears. I explained more clearly what I had said. Then, I asked, "Why are you so afraid that I might not know you love me?" He answered, crying as he did, "Because if you think I don't love you, then you might not keep me and give me up for adoption!" I hugged him as he cried and assured him that when we said he was our "forever son", that meant forever. I was explaining what forever means when he said, "For some reason, I just have trouble believing you," and burst into fresh tears. I hugged him. Tim hugged him. We both let him know that we understand why he is afraid and has trouble believing that we mean forever.

It has not entered my mind since the beginning weeks that Luke is not used to being permanent. His life has been in upheaval since he was born. We all know that he is our son forever, but over time, we have forgotten that that fact is not a reality yet for him. I suddenly have clarity on so many things. No wonder he still robotically obeys every command without reason or emotion. He is trying so hard to order his world in such a way that it does not cause him upheaval again. When we give him an order, he obeys mechanically. We appreciate the obedience, but always feel like something is just not quite right about it. Now, I've had a paradigm shift. Sunday, I was wondering in frustration if things will ever feel 'normal'. Now, I see more clearly, that 'normal' will come as he feels more secure and one year is not enough to feel secure after 6 years of not having security. He is so smart that he picks up the rules of proper attachment pretty fast, but the heart (habit) of attachment will take more time.

One of the most helpful things we have been taught in our Circle of Security attachment therapy has been learning that young children that are neglected in the early years haven't had parents who pick them up and tell them how they feel: "Oh, you're hungry, that's what's wrong." "Oh, you're sick, no wonder you are unhappy." "Oh, Did you miss Mommy? That's why your crying." We verbally tell our babies what they feel, with more detail as they grow older. When a baby is neglected, he doesn't learn to put names to his emotions (sad, jealous, angry, scared) and feelings (cold, hot, hungry, full), nor how to deal with them. He was left to answer his own needs from early on. In a loving, caring home, he would have learned that his parents will take care of his needs. In a neglectful home, he learns to deal with unanswered needs in ways that alleviate the pain of that unanswered need. He learns how to control things in whatever way he can. It is one of our tasks to help Luke learn that his parents are responsible for answering his comfort needs and he has to allow us to do our job and not move into his habitual behaviors that he learned as an infant.

Adopting an older child is a real adventure. We are learning so much.

It's Been a Very Long Time

2009-09-02T08:32:00.020-04:00

I have neglected my blog for far too long. It is long past time for an update.

The biggest event of the summer was Nathaniel's graduation from high school. We shared the big event with four other graduates at the home of one of them. It was an enormously fun time of celebration with our church family and a few other guests. The night included the ceremony, barbeque, ultimate Frisbee, dancing and loads of fun!

Tim took Luke to Colorado this past month for 5 days of Luke meeting and visiting his paternal grandparents and his Uncle Andrew, Aunt Nicole and cousins Shea (Luke's age) and Sophie, along with Uncle Tom, Aunt Susanne, and their kids. They had a wonderful time exploring, playing, Kayaking and getting to know each other.

While Luke and Tim were in Estes Park, Nathaniel visited a friend in Colorado Springs. We had a very quite house here at home with only David, Whitney and me. It was very restful and we did a lot of rejuvenating in their absence. Whitney and I worked for hours on our crochet projects. She is making a bear for a friend's baby and I am making a baby afghan. This is Whitney's very first crochet project and she has done wonderfully.

Nathaniel and Tim are taking a landscaping management class at the local community college to hopefully grow the lawn business that Nathaniel started. We add, on average, a customer per week right now. I even enjoy getting out to help drive the mower every once in a while. It is a zero turn mower and very fun to drive! Nathaniel continues to make sure he gets plenty of social interaction. Here are photos of him and Whitney at Busch Gardens with friends.

Whitney spends her hours helping me in the house, baking delicious treats and planning and cooking our meals. I, especially am loving her domestic skills. She also spends hour upon hour honing her piano, guitar and singing skills. Wow! The music in our home is beautiful!
David continues to try to befuddle our minds with physics talk and words we often don't understand. He really enjoys things like physics, chemistry, mazes, codes and Rubik's cubes. Right now he is studying what makes up languages with the goal of creating a new alphabet and language, just for fun. He also loves to keep Nathaniel and Luke busy with wrestling. The last match in the living room was too close to the hearth. This is the sewing job done on David's head.

Luke is still spending time looking for and playing with his many bug finds. He recently caught a big, (in Mom's estimation, ugly) bug and brought it in his bug holder. After show it off, he said, "I love this bug =). I just want to hold it." How sweet and snugly.

This summer we have had many animal adventures. We raised a praying mantis from infant to 4 inches long. Wow! He was educational! Every time he shed his skin, he doubled in size. He learned things very fast too. In the end, we kept him overnight on a plant in the sun room and he became very angry when we tried to return him to his small enclosure, so we decided it was time to set him free.
We caught a 4 foot long Black Racer Snake in the neighbors tree and allowed it to crawl around in the sun room for awhile. I found out the non-poisonous snakes don't have fangs at all, so it really doesn't hurt much when they bite. We had a box turtle lay at least one egg in our turtle garden in the back yard. We have two newborn water turtles growing in an aquarium, in the sun room. We rescued and are keeping in the turtle garden some type of deformed, half-eaten water turtle that had healed by the time we found it, but resembles some type of dwarf. We call her Zombie. Most recently, yesterday I had to cut off the end of one of our goat's horns to keep her from strangling herself in the fence. It is always interesting living rurally. Not exactly country, but not city either.

Chicks, Children, College, Choas and Life

2009-03-26T05:41:00.005-04:00

It is very hard to recap when I have not blogged in so long. I think I will try the scatter approach. I will just throw things out and you catch what you will.

Our latest adventure was having to do a full day of attachment evaluations up in Charlottesville. We were feeling very reluctant to do this evaluation, in part because our son, Luke, has had so many evaluations that he felt he could tell us the whole process before we even went. Another good reason is that we have felt that things are going so well, there was no need. Most importantly though, attachments take time, and five months is a fairly short time when you are a six year old who has been through so much. SS eventually threatened us to the point where we felt we had no choice but to do this now. In hindsight, we are very glad that we have done it. Not so much because of what the therapist can help us with now that he has this information, but because the evaluators were so pleased with Luke's progress in healing and attaching that the report to SS should relieve a lot of their concern and a lot of pressure on us.

To summerize the chaos of the week for you: We had me sick with a bad cold, maybe even the flu Thursay during a morning visit from our SS person, a visit with Luke's SS person to which I had to drive 45 minutes in the afternoon, a visit with a new therapist on Friday morning, which Tim came home for though I did manage to drag myself out of bed for it. A busy and sick weekend for most of us, followed by a late-evening, three-hour drive to a hotel where Tim and I crammed into a double bed for a fittful night before a gruelling day of having our every move video-taped and evaluated. Hmm... I wonder why Luke seemed so emotionally unstable yesterday. Do you think things will mello with Tim and Whitney having left for a father daughter get-away and a five day absense? I bet not.

I have been very encouraged by the way that Luke is handling the stress though. Instead of shutting me off and pulling away, as he has in the past after SS visits, he has been whiny and teary and sad. He tried to be naughty and get himself in trouble, but since I have been keeping him right by my side, I was able to avert disaster.

I mentioned that Tim and Whitney have left for a few days. They left at about 5:30 this morning and will drive to GA for a lovely visit with friends and a father/daughter retreat put on by Vision Forum. Whitney was definately looking forward to this trip with her dad. I pray their time together is truly blessed and they come home with bags full of memories they made together.

Luke was so excited to have baby chicks arrive in the mail on the same day that we began incubating 15 eggs that we recieved in the mail the previous day. He enjoyed the chicks so much that I ended up leaving them in the house much longer than I had intended. Our eggs will hopefully hatch around the first of April, if I haven't managed to mess them up with uneven temperatures and a turner that is inconsistant. I have never had such challenges with incubating eggs and I have never paid so much for a dozen eggs either. These dozen Buff Orpington hatching eggs cost about $30. Yikes!!!

Nathaniel was excited to start classes at the local community college a week ago. Since it is the end of the spring semester, he was only able to get into two classes, but we thought that was a good start. As soon as he started classes though, his work he does with a friend in Williamsburg took off, as has his own business. He seems to get fairly steady, though not often enough, calls for his lawn business. He is working to upgrade his equipment and is hoping to get a vehicle to help him with his work. He hires David to work for him as often as it is convenient. David likes the income and it is good for him to learn how to work hard for a full day.

Whitney has slowed down recently on her studies as she has been doing so much ministry to other families and her own that she has had little time to devote to study. She recently spent two days with five children under six, while their mother worked to set up a consignment business. Besides helping with children, she has been volunteering her time up in Williamsburg cataloging, organizing, and barcoding books for a lady that has a huge library of books that are out of print and/or purged from libraries due to their Christian worldviews.

David continues to be frustrated over his desire to do computer programming and his lack of a computer that works properly. He has been fighting for months now to get a computer that was given to him to function properly in spite of being reformatted, or perhaps, because of it. He is just beginning a new adventure into Physics and is enjoying it very much at this point, though he gets a little hung up on the math occasionally. I hope he will become a great engineer one day. I think he would really enjoy that field of work. He is such a thinker.

I think this has gotten long enough. That about sums up all that has been happening around here of late anyway. I wish I could sit down to a long chat and time of catch-up on all of you. Thanks for listening. Have a blessed day!

Phonics Lessons

2009-02-11T17:14:00.003-05:00

We "prolly" should "git" the smudge that's "oin" the "mirra".
It is a very interesting if not entertaining pursuit for a westerner to teach phonics to a southern child. (Forgive me all my southern friends.) I often cannot tell if Luke is reading a word wrong or just pronouncing it in a way that makes it difficult for me to understand. His short 'e' sounds all sound like short 'i". Most of his short 'i' sounds come out like a combination of short and long 'a'. What fun! I especially get a kick out of how he thinks saying 'on' as it sounds, without the short 'i' sound feels really odd in his mouth.
I am so blessed to tell you all (ya'll) however, that Luke is reading like a champ. Teaching him phonics was a huge obstacle for us to overcome in the beginning. I was going to give up for this year and pick it up again in the fall, until I got some good input from my friends at church. They told me that I was experiencing things that some of their children had done also. They call it 'laziness' and don't allow it. That changed everything for us. He is soaring through Hooked On Phonics. I have never enjoyed homeschooling so much. What a breeze when I don't have four very young children to teach at once, two of whom were previously in government schools.
I must get off now to fix dinner, but wanted to share the adventures of teaching Luke.

Catching Up

2009-01-07T07:20:00.011-05:00

Isn't this a great picture of Whitney!?! She looks like a perfect fit for the glasses and the mics. She and Nathaniel got new laptops for Christmas so that they could do their studies for college work. Actually, they got them right after Christmas when the second of the last two old laptops finally gave up the ghost. This program for making funny photos came with their webcams that are on the laptops. Maybe I can put a photo that Nathaniel made on here later.
This is one taken on Whitney's computer again, but with Luke and Nathaniel and I in it. We were having some fun.

This is another fun photo. We had a couple of families over on Sunday for lunch in celebration of

Nathaniel's birthday. He got the new jacket and the scarf as gifts. The kids decided to take his skeleton that he keeps in his room and dress it up. It is even using Nathaniel's ipod. The little ones took the bottle of Mt Dew that was in the left arm.

Nathaniel is very excited that the day after his birthday, he received a clean (no metal) new smile! Doesn't he look great!?!

This is a short video of us all on Christmas morning. It was a very exciting and fairly chaotic time.
We all thoroughly enjoyed it! It was fun to see Luke's enthusiasm for each present he opened. I don't think anyone was disappointed with the joyous day. Each year, we think things will be too tight to have many gifts under the tree, and each year, the tree is loaded to overflowing. Note all the presents in the background.

We all wish you all a very Happy New Year! We look forward to seeing what new adventures the Lord has in store for all of us.

Tim's Birthday! and more Life with Luke

2008-12-05T05:25:00.006-05:00

Today is Tim's birthday! Yay!!! He has decided to work from home, so that will be nice. Nathaniel and Luke and I went shopping and bought him lots of presents. All very practical, but I hope he will enjoy opening the packages anyway. I wish I could tell of the things we have done to prepare for this birthday for him, but...he may read my blog, and then the surprise would be ruined. Suffice it to say, we hope to make this a special day for my darling husband.

We have recovered from Luke's Thanksgiving cold and mine that followed on its heals. We had a wonderful Thanksgiving shared with friends. It was a blessing to be invited to join other families for the special day, as I would not have managed to accomplish a big meal, nor the celebratory feelings if we had ended up staying home. I assume due to the cold Luke woke up with, but possibly the anticipation of the big day also, Luke had his most challenging day with us so far. He had two fits before noon, and a close call during our Thanksgiving visit. Amazingly, we have not had any temper fits since that day!

We seem to have finally fully recovered the ground we lost after the last FM call. It took a full 10 days. During and following the call, Luke was in his baby talk, "I need nurturing" mode. It had seemed as first that the only negative results from the call were minor, but as the week progressed, I saw how Luke had pushed me away and was reaching out his siblings and Dad only. He also told me several times that I was not his mom that his FM was, and that he would never love me and he had only lied when he had said he did. It is a relief to be past all that.

I feel much more confident about my decisions in regards to refusing to be coerced into more communication with the foster parents, as we now have a therapist to advocate on Luke's behalf. She is a warm, happy lady who will come to our house once a week and stand up to social services for me about what is best for Luke. She agrees completely about cutting off the FP. Yay!
I am so pleased to see Luke decide continuously to make wiser choices and not make the choice to tantrum. I see him stop and think about which path he will take and he continues to take the path of wisdom and compliance. I don't carry high hopes that he will never choose to tantrum again, but we are certainly not seeing any for now, and I anticipate less from now on.

On Saturday, we had a lovely visit with a family who has adopted five children (also have four birth, and pregnant now, and 10 years younger than us). They were so encouraging and uplifting. Being with that family for much of Saturday was really very therapeutic. Even our teens enjoyed and felt uplifted by the visit. Unfortunately, I talked my voice right out. I haven't had it since. I would trade my voice for a week for the joy they brought into our home any day.

We told our matchmaker/social worker that we do not want to be taken off the list of those still looking for children. We know that we will have to renew our home study soon, but it is much easier to renew than to start over. We are definitely still wanting at least two more, hopeful under four years old. Luke is very interested in having more adopted kids and is enthralled with babies. He also is amazingly gentle with babies and protective of them. I am so glad that this little boy is not what the "adoption people" all warned us he would be. God is an amazing God. He put that list of yucky stuff in Luke's description to scare everyone else off, then he directed us straight to him. God be praised!

Building Castles and Relationships

2008-11-25T09:03:00.004-05:00

These past couple of days, the boys have been very involved with construction projects. The castles they have built together have been great fun. I put all of Luke's toys away since I found he didn't play with them anyway and he needed to know that having access to his things is a privilege that must be earned. This worked wonders in unexpected ways. I have found that he is now actually enjoying playing with toys. He asked specifically for a toy and then plays with it, sometimes even alone. Up until now, he has seemed to have no interest in toys, let alone playing by himself. Since making it a privilege to play with them, he seems more content. Maybe this will stay, maybe it wont, but for now, it is working.
Luke had a phone conversation yesterday with the FM (foster mom). He instantly went to baby mode and remained baby-like the entire evening, even to the point of wanting to sleep in our bed last night. We went with what his needs seemed to be and he seemed to recover faster this time. It is still too soon to know right now whether we will continue to see the effects today and into tomorrow. In the past, just the suggestion of a call caused disruption for 2-3 days following. We feel that since we are continuing to be pressured by the social workers, we had better start jumping through their hoops to keep them content. Hence, the suggestion for a phone call. Pray we will be able to keep a visit from happening. We don't think it is in Luke's or our best interest to have him see them again.

Baptized!!!

2008-11-19T11:57:00.002-05:00

Luke was very excited to be baptized last Sunday.
We were unsure whether to have Luke baptized now or later, when he becomes lawfully our son. When Luke came to the time he wanted a new name, we decided that this would be a good time to go ahead and have him baptized, after all he is our son in every way except lawfully. We had him baptized with his new name, Luke Bradford Ewing. We may later, on his new birth certificate add Jonathan as another middle name, but at this time, Luke has been adamant about leaving it off.
After Lukes baptism on Sunday, we had our congregational lunch with our church, then a time of celebration for Luke becoming our son. We recieved some nice gifts and donations. We sang some songs and Luke enjoyed watching a small skit put on by some of the young people. All in all, it was a very nice time.
Nathaniel spent time on the trampoline teaching Luke about static electricity. He came in and tried to do it on the carpet, but without any success. Nathaniel's hair was standing straight up during the lesson.
Today, we explored pine cones to see if we could see where the seed is. We never did find them, but enjoyed dissecting it to look. We have also spent time together working on a phonics program to find out how well he can read. So far, he does very well.

Tears Instead of a Fit

2008-11-13T19:22:00.003-05:00

I felt like we had major victory today! We had friends over today to work on a quilt for Luke. He was having fun with the two boys visiting and his brothers, but at lunch started to act a bit less than nice to me. So, I figured a rest time would be best. We have been having him take a nap each afternoon. It helps him stay nice throughout the day. He was very disappointed about the rest time today, but instead of the fit that I might have had to endure in the past, I kept reminding him to make wise choices, and...he did!!! I was so happy. He was very unhappy. He cried, he was so unhappy. But, that was a milestone, because before now, he almost never cried and usually had a huge fit when he was made to do something he did not want to do. I was sad about his sadness, but so very happy for his decision to be in control and be sad when sad was appropriate.
Yay! It's been a rough week with a social worker visit and negative interactions with the FM(foster-mom). It felt like I had a little miracle of sunshine in my rainy day. Thanks for your prayers. They are working!

Jonathan or Luke

2008-11-08T14:47:00.004-05:00

Well, I know this is a little confusing, but I am going to attempt to make some sense of it. During snuggle/bonding time a couple of nights ago, I told Luke (formerly Jonathan) that if we had had Luke "from the beginning, when I found out I was pregnant, Daddy would have been so excited. Right away, we would have started to think of names to name our new little boy." Right away, Luke jumped in and exclaimed, "What would you have named me?" I answered back with one of the names that Tim and I had considered when we had thought we might rename our adopted little boy. Luke immediately responded, "No..., it's too long. I want a short name." I asked him about a few names that start with 'J', thinking he might like it to sound a little similar. He responded, "No. I don't want any 'J-O' names." I went to thinking and named the gospels to him, all except John, since he had already nixed that anyway. When I said the name Luke, he asked, "How do you spell Luke?" So, I spelled it for him and told him I thought it was a nice name and that Dad liked the name as well. He said, "Okay, Luke." He then asked," Will people laugh at me if I change my name?" I assured him nobody would. That was pretty much the end of the topic until I said, "Good-night, Jonathan." He looked at me sideways and said, "Remember...?" So I said, "Good-night Luke." And he said good-night.

The next day, I carefully tested the situation to see if it was one of those topics that we can talk about at night, but are taboo during the daylight hours. I was right. He did not want to talk about it. So, I didn't mention it again all day. Then, unexpectedly, when a young lady introduced him as Jonathan Ewing to her little brother at a church party last night, he looked up at me and said, "Mom, I'm not Jonathan, I'm Luke." He then asked me to fix the name written on his cup to say "Luke". After that, all evening, he was telling people his name is Luke. He corrected me any time I made the mistake of calling him "Jonathan".

This morning, I waited for him to show us what he would be called. It is still Luke. So, I would say at this point, even though we have not decided what we will do with a middle name at this point, our new son has a new name.

Incidental, Luke is a little dancing machine. He loves to dance and is not shy about dancing with any of the girls. It was fun to see the girls all wanting to dance with him. He should have the dances down in no time with all of his practice.

Luke, waiting with David this morning, to go get his first pair of pistols.

After a nice nap, enjoying his new guns.

Reasons to Sing Praise

2008-11-06T08:22:00.003-05:00

Yesterday was a long, tired, somewhat bored day. It's not that we had nothing to do. I think the rain and not being able to play outside just created that feeling inside of us. We found many things to do: Play Doh, learning games, drumming, watching an educational DVD, reading, school work, hot/cold game and other short-lived activities. The day seemed to crawl by for all of us, but perhaps it was good to have a slowed-down restful pace.

Today, feeling fresh and renewed, we started off with a bang. Right after morning devotions and breakfast, we went into a 15 minute cleaning race. We set the timer and everyone worked as fast and efficiently as they could to get the house looking tidy again. I figured that if each of us, including Jonathan, put in 15 minutes of continuous work, that is over an hour of cleaning when added all together.

Jonathan took the responsibility of vacuuming the living room. He says this was the very first time he ever vacuumed. He did a great job! What a big helper! Nobody even had to go over his job when he was through. Of course, we didn't expect perfection, we didn't have him move furniture and Nathaniel gave him brief instructions, but he did the job on his own.

Jonathan continues to appreciate snuggle time at night, and continues to want to play the "if I were your baby from the beginning" game. This has been making huge strides for us in the bonding process. He has becomes very willing to obey and eager to please, particularly for me. I think after this weekend, when things get back to some semblance of normal with Tim's work, Tim will also start this bonding process with Jonathan. It can be a little irritating at times to have a 6 year old acting like a baby, but I know it will be short lived, and it doesn't go on continuously, all day. He just has moments when he wants to be treated like a baby, other times he insists he is a big boy. One other nice thing about the baby play, believe it or not, the potty times seem to be getting better during this baby spell, rather than worse. Yay!

The older boys are doing a great job of entertaining, encouraging and playing with their new little brother. They have dawnings of reality occasionally, when they see that there are times when they would prefer to not have the big brother responsibilities and have more time alone.

Jonathan stated quite frankly, when the subject came up, that "NO!" his sister will not be allowed to marry, "ever!" He says we need to put a few "holes in her clothes so she wont be so pretty" to make sure it will never happen. ROTFLOL. I think our little boy has become completely enthralled with each them.

We feel so completely blessed by how well our time is going with our little Jonathan and what laughter and joy he brings to our home.

Butchered Birds and Other Happenings

2008-11-04T07:06:00.003-05:00

Yesterday, we butchered 20 chickens. Jonathan was right out there watching and playing nearby. He was quite curious about the insides, especially the gizzard so we had a little biology class for him.
Jonathan has been wanting to be treated as a baby now, starting at snuggle time Sunday night, most of the day yesterday and then snuggle time again last night. I suspect today will not be much different. He continues to ask what I would have done in certain situations if I had had him from the start. To me, this seems like a great healing and bonding time. We are making great progress with our relationship right now.
We had only one small tantrum yesterday. I was very impressed this time with the self control he used. He was angry and said so, but did not use naughty words this time, and did not try to hurt anyone. He also apologized for some of his actions without prompting, as soon as he calmed down. He then went right back into his play, and was a happy, snuggly boy again. The positive times certainly outweigh the negative by a long shot now. We never hesitate to take him anywhere. He behaves, most of the time, as any other child. At first, I would be nervous when we needed to go out, since I had been warned that he could be so difficult to get into the car and would run out of buildings unexpectantly. We were even told that he would run out into traffic and put himself in danger on purpose. We are not seeing any of these behaviors. We did at first have some difficulties with the car, but possibly because we were being so careful and nervous that we set him up for them. He has never put himself into danger on purpose with us though. We are now trying to let him just be a little boy and ignoring all the info (possibly all false) that we have been told, and letting him show us who he is and what to expect of him. Mostly, he shows very good behavior. I would say that he does not misbehave any more than any other child. He only needs to learn what we expect of him.
Potty time does continue to present challanges however. He does not ever want to go to the bathroom, but is embarrassed to wet or mess his pants. He hates us reminding him or asking him to use the toilet. It takes a lot of determination and creativity and talking to essentially manipulate him into using the bathroom.
Another interesting situation, considering all of the clothes sent with this boy is he has nothing to wear. Apparently his foster parents did not want to spend any money on clothing since they knew they would be giving him up. All of his clothes are size 4/5 and we have a size 6/7 boy. A friend at church gave us 2 pair of jeans and a nice sweat shirt. I made a new pair of pj's for him, he has maybe four t-shirts, but otherwise he is wearing clothing that is much too small. If anyone has any fairly decent size 6/7 clothes that their child has outgrown, we definately have a need. Church clothes would be helpful as well.
Thank you all for you continued prayers and support.

Worried About Nothing

2008-11-03T05:54:00.005-05:00

We had an amazing weekend. The wedding of our friends was beautiful! The reception was every bit as much fun as we had anticipated. We celebrated our 22nd anniversary by attending this wedding. The wedding was at 2pm, as was ours. Tim and I did not get a chance to dance together as we had hoped, but we had a wonderful time together nonetheless. Even Jonathan got in on the Virginia Reel. He can't wait for his next chance to dance. Jonathan had a lot of nervous energy during the reception and wanted to get a little carried away at times, but no more so than the other children there. Occasionally, we took him away from the activity just to help him level out for a few minutes. We celebrated to the very end, when they were beginning clean-up and Jonathan was all tuckered out.
Church on Sunday morning also went very well. I was pleasantly amazed to find that he wanted to cling to me this time, rather than Tim. Tim has been gone so much for work, that when he is around, Jonathan has seemed to ignore me as much as possible. This was not the case yesterday, however, maybe because he had spent the entire day of the wedding with Tim. Sunday service, Jonathan sat very quietly. I rewarded him as the service progressed with chocolates that I had left in my purse from the wedding. That worked very well. Even during the longer parts though, for instance during a very long scripture reading, he hung in there with only one very quiet whispered comment on how long it was taking.
After church, our family went to a soccer match to watch the son of a friend play. We then joined them at their home for BBQ burgers and a movie. Jonathan enjoyed playing with two young friends on and off during this get-together. He was very obedient and polite the whole day. Everybody enjoyed him and he seemed to enjoy everyone too.
Last night, when we returned home we had the best snuggle time ever. Jonathan wanted me to tell him more of how it would have been if he could have been my baby from the very beginning. He wanted me to sing him lullabies and pat him on the back like burping a baby. I love these moments because he asks lots of meaningful questions and shares bits of his fears and concerns. Last night, he wanted to know if I will ever give up my kids for adoption. We talked about this quite a while. The conversation included helping him know his birth mom tried to take care of him, but was unable.
Today, we will have another very full day. Our broiler chicks are long past needing to be butchered. We have 20 of the them. Pray my hands hold out for all the skinning we do. We do not pluck them, we have found it easier and cleaner to skin/gut them in one action. My arthritic hands however don't much like to cooperate in either event.
We are hoping Mindy has puppies sometime this week as well. She has not been going through a false pregnancy this time. She appears to have pregnancy symptoms as her due date approaches, but is not very big. Hopefully at least two pups will be delivered. The money from the pups will be a blessing.
Pray for Tim today. He has a very tough day at work to get through and the burden that follows as the week continues.

Life This Past Week

2008-10-31T06:24:00.008-04:00

Well, I won the battle of the zipper. It was not a perfect job, but for my first ever zipper and it being on satin, I think it turned out pretty good. Now we shall see if I can throw a shrug together for it in just a day and a half while being completely occupied with our little Jonathan. I'm sure Whitney can help with this one, either the child or the sewing.
We had a wonderful few days in our friends' time-share condo these past few days. I was pleased to see Jonathan do so well there. We had a lot to do. We went swimming,
putt putt and playing at the park. Inside the condo, we played remote control car, Pick-up-Sticks and had lots of bubble bath time in the big tub.
We only had one stressful time when it was time to be done swimming the first time we went.
Jonathan doesn't move from one activity to another in smooth transitions. Sometimes he needs to have a few minutes to adjust to the fact that we are making a change, and sometimes I forget or don't realize it is necessary and try to rush him. He is not really trying to play longer most times, he just seems to want to be still for a while and adjust. I am trying to remember things like this so that he can have this time as a healing time, instead of a higher stress time due to my preferences.
We had our Georgia friends, whose condo we stayed at over for grilled steaks yesterday early afternoon. Maybe that is the better time for us to have meals. It seems that may have been the first full meal we have had since getting our precious son. We still have blessed meal times together, as I feel that is important for Jonathan, its just that sometimes its Campbell's soup or grill cheese sandwiched. I do need to fall into a good routine soon though. Whitney and David have all but stalled out with their studies while they have been helping me. Nathaniel is struggling along because he has put himself in a co-op learning situation with a parent-teacher and other home school students. He has a more stringent schedule to keep in order to not get behind. Tim has been working right up to Jonathan's bedtime in order to make up for time he had to take off during our pre-placement days. I have to admit, I did not anticipate the exhaustive work that this is taking. I would not change it, mind you. I just was not prepared.
For others who are adopting, I highly recommend: have some meals in your freezer, streamline your home, make a schedule for laundry, prepare for survival mode physically and financially. They say you will get monthly subsidies if you're adopting out of the foster system, which I know we will...eventually, but they don't give one of time, and even the money doesn't come as soon as you get the child. There are many little things that you find are needed in order to care for this new little person that are unpredictable until he is with you. Mattress pads that are waterproof, pull-ups, new pjs that don't itch, socks that fit, pants that fit, bath toys, car toys, oh, just little stuff I guess, but it does add up.
I am so glad we serve such an awsome God! He gives us each an abundance of grace, he provides for our every need, he continuosly stretches and teaches us. He creates miracles when they are needed. He has given us a wonderful church family to encourage us, and friends' visits to break up the day. God is so kind.

Better Each Day

2008-10-27T12:37:00.003-04:00

Church and our after-church picnic went better than expected yesterday. Jonathan was more patient than we would have expected during the service. To a child his age, it is a challenge to sit quietly for so long. Tim did an amazing job of handling him during the service. I was not feeling well and was tired after a week of adjusting with Jonathan so it was a good thing to have Tim be in control for the service. He was so much more patient than I was feeling. Jonathan did amazingly well, not perfect, but very well. After service, Jonathan enjoyed interacting with and playing games with the other kids at the picnic we went to in Yorktown. We were pleasantly surprised to see him join in a game of duck-duck-goose with the other children, on his own initiative.
He also enjoyed our time at the condo. I wasn't sure how he would feel about it, but he seemed to enjoy being there as much as we did. He took a long bath with bubbles and played with his remote control car in the apartment. When our friends arrived he was very out-going to them. They have a new baby which he was very interested in. He asked me during snuggle time a couple of nights ago if I could have another baby. He seems very interested in how a little baby should/would be taken care of. He also found it interesting that our friends had adopted two teen-age boys from Russia that couldn't even speak English when they got them. The boys were not here for him to meet, but he liked hearing about them. He really enjoyed getting to sleep between Mom and Dad like a little baby all night. We awoke to a small puddle between us, but that just shows how well he slept. If we do the all night snuggle again, we will probably use a pull-up. All together it was worth it for the bonding time. Sheets are washable.
We are loving our little boy more and more each day and enjoying the progress he is making with us already.
We let Whitney and Nathaniel stay after us at the picnic to interact with their friends while we took off for the condo. They had a very enjoyable time just talking and hanging out with friends. They then drove home to care for our animals and hold down the fort. They will go this afternoon with me back to the condo in Williamsburg where Tim will join us after work. I'm not sure which ones at the moment, but at least two will return home again tonight to care for the critters. It is so nice to have them to rely on to help out. David may choose to return home, as he sometimes feels the need to have a little space from his little brother. Jonathan copies just about everything David does with only a few exceptions.
I am off to put a zipper in Whitney's dress. Pray for me. This is a very scary undertaking.

Another Great Day with Our New Son

2008-10-23T20:25:00.009-04:00

Today has gone very well. Jonathan is so excited that he now has chores that are his very own. He has the job of putting away our cloth napkins with individual napkin rings after each meal and he collects the eggs each day, feeding chickens their scraps as needed. He does his chores possessively and enthusiastically. He spent more time doing actual school work today, though I think I may have snuck it by him in such a way that he may not even be aware he did any. He is reluctant to let me know what he really knows, but we are slowly figuring him out. We did shaving cream spelling of three letter words, shapes, counting by twos, puzzles and writing number words.
I am continuously amazed at Jonathan's boldness and wisdom in regards to the puppy, chickens and the cats. He is very slow and respectful with the cats and bold and firm with the puppy. He now believes me that only the rooster (now in the freezer) is untrustworthy. The rest are nice. He is looking forward to eating the rooster though.
He is getting to the point where he will obey me most times with a respectful "yes ma'am", right away, in spite of the fact that the rest of us don't do a good job of this. He likes to remind the other kids to answer correctly. I kind of like that. Maybe my western-raised kids will finally get into the habit. (In the west, nobody says ma'am or sir. It is considered stand-offish and even offensive to some.)

This afternoon, Whitney and Jonathan finally had a chance to bond. Whitney has been sick with a cold and was not much for interaction of late, so this was a great day for the two of them to get to know each other. They jumped on the trampoline, played basketball, played fetch with puppy Shula, and threw a giant Frisbee in the yard. By the end of the day, "Whitters" had gained a new fan. Did you know that "Quitters never win, and Whitters never lose,"? I overheard Jonathan chanting that over and over in the shower before bed.

Hope

2008-10-22T06:52:00.002-04:00

Today is the first time we have had Jonathan for a third day without having to return him. Finally, a "second night" with us where all went smoothly. We had a happy and peaceful bedtime routine last night, even with Tim coming home late, to the routine half over. It went so well that Tim and I were back in the kitchen talking about our days by 7:25, and that included snuggle time with Jonathan. YAHOO!!!
I feel filled with hope and ready to greet this day with excitement and enthusiasm. Thank you all for all of your prayers. Keep them going up as we progress onward. Thanks.

Jonathan is With us for Good!!!

2008-10-21T11:29:00.003-04:00

I feel like a new mom. Boy, am I tired. It is always surprising to me to find that emotional situations can wipe me out so much. We are keeping today low key and as quiet as possible. We are even limiting the time Jonathan spends out on the trampoline today. I don't know if it's the right thing to do, but it makes the day more peaceful anyway. I will let him go out after lunch for a half hour, but getting him back in can be a challenge.
Yesterday is a day that, as exciting as it was, is a day I do not wish to repeat. It was obviously very hard on Jonathan. We had a bit of a battle in the car after we left his foster parents' house. I ended up having to hold him in my lap with his arms crossed over his chest and hands held tightly just to keep things in control. After about 10 minutes he calmed down and I put him back into his seat where he promptly fell sound asleep. I think it was just too much trauma for his little self to handle. He awoke a few miles from home and was a sweet boy again.
We had a little celebration for Jonathan when we got home. The kids had decorated the house and wrapped up some gifts we had bought for him. Whitney made a cake. We had a nice little time together. But...bedtime was once again very tense. In the past, during the visit time, Jonathan only had tough bedtimes on the night before his return to his foster parents. This time, we dealt with it on the first permanent night with us. We eventually hit on something that calmed him, and we had peace as he fell asleep.
Today has been going quite well. Whitney and Tim are recovering from their cold. The boys are studying diligently, and Jonathan is entertaining himself with balloons and toys. The peace is broken occasionally by the loud "POP" of a balloon, but their number is diminishing...slowly. I hope my heart holds out.

Today is Timothy's Birthday!!!

2008-10-17T07:51:00.003-04:00

Today, my first baby boy turns 20! On this day so many years ago, we excitedly awaited his coming. Timothy was born in a tiny little house in Colorado. I gave birth to him at home on a mattress in the living room under the front window. There was not enough room in the bedroom for Tim and I and the two childbirth teachers we had assisting us to do it in our tiny bedroom. He was born right at noon after roughly 24 hours of labor. What a life changing event it was. I was suddenly made so aware of the love my parents had for me, as I cried tears of joy and love over this tiny infant God had so graciously blessed us with. It is an amazing love that never lessens and grows more in my heart each passing year.

I miss Timothy so muchl. Today especially. He is so far away, clear on the other side of the world to me. My solace is in knowing that he is not only my child, but God's as well. My Heavenly Father loves him even more than I do. I don't comprehend how this is even possible, but I know it is.

I hope all of you will join me in lifting up prayers today for my dear son Timothy on his birthday.

2008-10-16T11:00:00.002-04:00

We are again looking forward to Jonathan coming over. This time he will stay for another two nights to go back to his foster home one more time for one day, to return to us for good. Finally!!
Jonathan did express to us on Tuesday when we took him back to his foster home, "I just wish I could stay with you forever, now." I think that is one of the things his social workers were hoping to hear from him before "placement". I didn't really expect to hear it I guess. Don't misunderstand me, I know when Jonathan is with his foster parents, to him he is then home and he is happy. We are just so blessed that he is already feeling so comfortable with us that he is willing to entertain the thought of us being his forever family. Jonathan's transitions back and forth are actually going smoother then they had been. The last trip when we took him us to Richmond, I played cards with him in the back seat and he played Gameboy for a while. These entertainments seemed to help all of us alot.

After leaving Jonathan with Jeff and Terry, Tim and I went out on our first date in a very long time. We had a wonderful McDonald's meal together. I am sure the meal was delicious, though I may not remember clearly, as the company was so sweet. That may be the last date we get for another very long time, but it was a sweet, refreshing moment together. I am so blessed to have such a loving, Christ-serving husband.

On a different note, Jonathan will be here soon, brought by his foster mom. His social worker was here earlier just to meet about placement, etc. We barely managed to get the house somewhat tidied. We have finally gotten most of the camping gear put away at least.

Random thoughts:

Three of us are battling colds, Whitney, David and I. Yesterday afternoon, as we were all getting ready to peter out for the day, I found Shula (puppy) gnawing on one of our broiler chicks. I later found a second that was in worse condition. So...late in the afternoon, we were forced to butcher two chickens. That is something to gear up for to accomplish early in the day, not something I would ever plan to do late in the day. Whew! That wasn't fun. I felt like we had to do it right away though. They were in pain, and I didn't want to waste the meat. Most of the meaty parts were still good. I think we lost a drumstick, that's all. Hopefully with enough diligence we can still manage to train Shula to not chase chickens. She is a very smart dog.

Well, I must be off. Jonathan is due here in about 15 minutes. Will add more as time allows.

2008-10-14T05:50:00.005-04:00

What a camp-out! Two of the funnest times of my life have been at CHRF (our church) camp-outs. I think the camping weekend was a great way to introduce Jonathan to our church and for him to have two full days with us as well.

Jonathan has now spent his first two nights with us also. We have had some of our first negative experiences together. Bedtime last night, for instance was a challenge. A car ride home from the park yesterday turned into an interesting exercise in containment for Nathaniel. Due to the massive amounts of time Jonathan spent in a car the first three years of his life, car trips can be quite the ordeal right now. We are currently looking for a booster or car seat that a six year old cannot extricate himself from. Any ideas? I am wondering how the two hour car ride to Richmond will go with him today. Windows, door locks, spitting, kicking, throwing anything that can be reached, squealing loudly, cussing...it's quite an experience. By God's grace will we prevail.

Most of the time, Jonathan is a very sweet, lovable little boy. He loves his new brothers and wants to do everything exactly as they do, right down to eating the same number of slices of bacon. He adores our cats, enjoys the dogs, though the puppy can be overwhelming, carries the turtle around regularly and keeps an eye on the frog to be sure it eats. He is not intimidated by the chickens or the goats. If given the freedom, he would probably live entirely on the trampoline and his bike.

I have seen a miracle in my sons, Nathaniel and David this week. They have both magically become men. Whitney has always been quick to step in to get things done when needed and I have always appreciated and at times, taken advantage of it. To see how the boys are jumping in to help get things accomplished is a great blessing. I saw huge piles of camping equipment left in the living room "until later" just disappear while I was occupied with Jonathan. The boys continually stop what they are doing to answer Jonathan's questions or help him out with any small matter. They step in to distract him when the need arises and seek to comfort him when he is discomforted. I watched in pride and amazement as Nathaniel dealt with the incident in the car yesterday. I saw tender, patient love, concern and prayer in the midst of a violent, uncontrolled outburst. I have never seen the level of maturity I am seeing now in my sons. It makes my heart so full, it brings me to tears.

Today, we take Jonathan back to his foster parents' house. We are all dreading that, for many reasons. Jonathan hates the drive, its four hours of driving (four for us and two for Jonathan), and we don't want to say "good-bye" to our little boy again. We are still on schedule to have him with us for good on Monday the 2oth. Please continue to pray for us during this transitional time.

Four Hours in the Park

2008-10-07T13:59:00.010-04:00

Yesterday, we played for four hours in the park. We then went to an outdoor mall for ice cream and more movement. I was so exhausted. I think Jonathan must have slept very well last night.

Tim should have been more tired than I however, as he was Jonathan's constant companion and play toy.

They played soccer, catch,swords, wrestling, and bubble chasing. Tim pushed Jonathan on the swings and a twirling toy that made me nauseous to even watch. Jonathan seemed to really like Tim. He was happy to have me there when he got a scrape or fell down and wanted assurance, but overall Tim was clearly the fun one. I was glad to be there, took lots of pictures and loved on Jonathan when the opportunity presented itself, but I was not quite up to par on this particular outing. A slight cold is still attempting to get the best of me.
Jonathan has had such a difficult time with school during this transition, that he finally bought himself a ticket out yesterday before we went to play with him. All those who have control, decided to end Jonathan's school days for now. They told the school yesterday, that he will not be back. Whew. That is a relief. He was going through trauma everday by having to leave his home to go there. His foster mom will work from home now until the transition is complete.

The official, changable schedule is the following:
Thursday 11:00am-4:00pm
Friday 10:30am-6:00pm
Sunday 3:30pm-Tuesday 7:00pm
Thursday 9:00am-Saturday 3:00pm
Monday October 2oth-Home with us to stay

This is the schedule if all goes as planned and visits don't need to be extended. The school issue seems to make this schedule a bit more pressing than it otherwise might be.

So, on a personal note. I am so excited and nervous about this little boy coming to our home. I feel like there is so much to do to prepare and make things just perfect. So much in fact, that I can't seem to get started on anything. For now, I will concentrate on preparations for camping and finishing Whitney's dress that I've been sewing. I will drink lots of fluids to stay well and take lots of deep, cleansing breaths to stay calm.

Bowling With Our Blessings

2008-10-06T07:04:00.021-04:00

What a glorious time we had yesterday with Jonathan. As stressful as his school day was on Friday, I had not hoped for so much. When Jonathan saw us he ran up to us. He stopped short of hugging us but he was happy to see us.

When we were finally able to pry Jonthan away from the video games and get his bowling shoes and ball, the fun began.

We bowled together, chased a bit, and watched Jonathan be very silly at times. Jonathan seems to pick up on things very fast. He followed the order of the game and always know who's turn was next.

Jonathan enjoyed interactions with each of us in different ways, though he seemed to seek out physical touch. He never sat in our laps really, but he lounged against us, collapsed on us, and generally seemed to be enjoying a lot of physical touch.

We brought a small birthday cake and a couple of small presents for him to open. It turned out that was a great way to break up the bowling.

We bowled one more game after eating cake. The brothers playing with Jonathan's new cars in between their turns. Jonathan was beginning to get a bit wound up and antsy toward the end of the second game.

When we finally finished the last game, we dug out his new playdoh toy. This seem to be a good wind down activity for when we had to work toward a "good-bye".

Four out of five siblings together. At times like these, we sure miss Timothy.

Tomorrow is a Very Big Day

2008-10-04T18:55:00.003-04:00

Tomorrow is the day Whitney, Nathaniel and David get to meet Jonathan. We are all going bowling. Whitney made a cake to celebrate Jonathan's birthday with. We bought him a couple of very small gifts.
As exciting as it is to spend time with Jonathan tomorrow, it is also scary. When we come with a birthday cake and our other three children, we may have some conversation about us adopting him. Up to this time, we have only spent time with him and nobody has discussed adoption with him. We are praying he has a fun time and is not afraid and enjoys his new siblings.
Pray for calm, peaceful hearts and spirits for all of us.

Update

2008-10-01T17:19:00.003-04:00

Jonathan has gotten into trouble at school again. We have gotten no details yet. The social worker and therapist are trying to work out a way for him to remain in his current school during this transition. The school feels "Jonathan would be better served in a different school setting." We agree. Unfortunately, we have to wait to get him home to homeschool him. In the mean time, the social worker and therapist are going to spend their mornings at school with him to help him with his feelings of frustration, fear and anger. This whole new school issue has worked toward getting his move-in day moved up by one week. They were working toward Nov. 2. We are now talking about Oct. 27. Tim and I are encouraging them toward a sooner move-in date yet.
Jonathan really is a sweet little boy. He is very confused right now and feels rejected and scared. I think he will be fine in a less chaotic environment, with a loving stable home. Thank you all for your continued prayers.

Jonathan Had Fun

2008-09-30T09:15:00.005-04:00

We had a wonderful day yesterday with Jonathan. When we met him we clearly saw fear in his eyes, but that quickly went away as we reminded him that he had seen us at McDonald's, and gave him quarters to feed the animals. As we walked through Maymont Park in Richmond, looking at the animals, we talked with and interacted with Jonathan. He did not seem shy at all. A very short time into our visit he was walking along, talking to Tim .

Tim pointed out animals to him and both shared little bits of information they knew about them with each other and the rest of us.
As our walk progressed, Jonathan became tired and sat down to rest. I pulled out bubbles that I had brought along and he seemed to really enjoy them. After convincing him it would be better to chase them on flat ground instead of the side of a hill, we walked on.
A short way up our path, Jonathan slipped and skinned his knee. After a short rest for recovery, he let me hold his hand to help him hop along, saying, "I can't walk on it at all." Within about 10 hops uphill, I suggested he let Tim carry him on his shoulders. Jonathan let Tim pick him up and seemed to really enjoy being carried along, especially when Tim let him steer him by putting his hands up as handle bars and turning as Jonathan led.

When we reached the top of the hill, the two ladies that were with us left us with Jonathan while they went to get the car. Jonathan seemed a bit nervous, but I pulled out the bubbles and he enjoyed chasing them as we coaxed him up to the meeting place.
We left the park a short time later and got a drink, finishing our time for the day at a duck pond. Jonathan kept looking for flat rocks to skip in the water and played with a feather in the water with me. At one point Jonathan came up beside me leaned in and kind of gave me one of those head-shoulder hugs that completely warmed my heart.

Jonathan was smiling very big as we said good-bye and told him we would see him again very soon.
The meeting was a success.

We Met with Jonathan

2008-09-26T13:22:00.004-04:00

Yesterday was a very full day. We met at McDonald's to view and be viewed by Jonathan. We arrived a half-hour past the beginning of our hour of time with him due to a mess up in communication. We were given the address to the wrong McDonald's. The plan was for us to be there first and Jonathan and his therapist would enter and come to say "Hello". We would then interact with Jonathan in a nonthreatening way. As it turned out, he was the only child in the play place when we arrived, and he knew right away what was up. He was quite nervous and for the most part did not interact with us. He was able to observe us from the safety of the tunnels however and see that we are safe. He did venture down near us a couple of times, but very cautiously and for short periods of only 2-3 minutes. On one of these occasions he opened the emergency exit and the alarm sounded. The therapist immediately stepped around the corner to find the janitor to turn off the alarm, leaving me standing beside him to verbally sooth him from his apprehension about the loud noise. I then had his attention and told him about the time Nathaniel pulled the alarm at a school during swimming lessons and fire trucks arrived filled with firemen . He was interested, smiling and said he wanted to do it again so that firemen would come. We explained why they wouldn't come and that the janitor wouldn't be happy to shut off the alarm again so he shouldn't do it again. Hopefully I didn't open a new can of worms with that one. It was nice to have a positive interaction with him though. Isn't God is a humorous and thoughtful God?
Before we felt like we had been there at all, it was time for Jonathan to leave. It was quite entertaining watching this poor young therapist try to get an unwilling, crafty, feisty, little boy to get his shoes on and into his car seat. We were watching from a distance and saw her put him into one side of her SUV to avoid having him get too wet in the heavy rain. She walked around to the other side to buckle him in. He quickly climbed over the seat into the back as she arrive at his side of the car. She went around to open the back and he climbed back over the seat into the back seat. She went back to the side door...and on and on this went. I don't know how she ever managed to coax him into the seat, but she was completely drenched by the time they left. We felt bad for her, but it was a bit of comic relief.
Later in the afternoon, we met with Jonathan's social workers and his foster parents. That was a time of reassuring them of our desire to do what is best for Jonathan as is theirs. It was also a time of assuring his foster mom that we are not working against her, but with her. She is really hurting right now. (I have a suspicion that he is being placed into a new home due to their marriage being in deep distress.) They graciously shared photos of Jonathan and information about favorite things and usual routines, names of his pets, etc.
Jonathan's birthday will be on Tuesday. We will get to see him Monday, but we will not be celebrating his birthday with him at this time. We may go for ice cream in small celebration of it next Sunday with his foster parents. This would be a very short visit since the foster mom is very emotional at this time and we don't want to pressure her too much to stay in control for too long. She has loved Jonathan wholeheartedly for the past 3 years, never intending to ever give him up. This is taking an emotional toll on her. Please keep her in your prayers.
We arrived home very late last night, and very tired and drained. I was not really aware how stressed I was about the meetings yesterday until this morning. I feel wrung out. Getting a call about seeing Jonathan again on Monday has helped a lot to lift me up again, but I still feel very tired today.
We are looking forward to a beautiful day of fellowship with some families from church here on Sunday and that always energizes me. I thank God continually for his grace in bringing us to this wonderful body of believers.

Until Late,
J

Beautiful Virginia Day

2008-09-22T12:42:00.003-04:00

The weather today is perfect. I love that in Virginia the fall and spring are so long and beautiful. The moderate temperature is truly a delight. We are all basking in the joy left over from a fun Lord's Day picnic with our church. Tim's mom and dad returned safely from their trip to the Clan Ewing meeting in Northern Virginia. We have experienced two small blips in our day. Tim's dad discovered his lovely two hour walk while lost in the Great Dismal Swamp behind our house has left him covered in Chigger bites. He is soaking away in Epsom salts right now.
The other small blip is we have to wait to meet Jonathan until Thursday. He has come down with a stomach virus and will not be up for our visit tomorrow. :( That disappointment however has been softened with the news that we are indeed on schedule to meet him this week. We were disappointed Friday evening to receive an email indicting that the process may be delayed. This news had been received with much disappointment and stress. We are continually reminded that God is in charge and this is His plan and we are merely willing tools.
Our God is an Awesome God!

Our Adoption Story to Date

2008-09-19T11:49:00.005-04:00

I have decide to update all of our friends and loved ones on our adoption process via my blog so that I could cover you all at once and remember important details. We were presented with the opportunity to be considered for Jonathan, a 5 year old Caucasian boy on August 22, 2008. We were told that the case workers may be looking for a home school family for him since he is not integrating well into kindergarten and daycare. He has been in the same foster home since he left his birth mother's cousin's care at the age of 3. He had been shuffled from his birth mom to cousin and then the cousin abandoned him at a hospital to end her care of him.
His foster parents had planned to adopt him when parental rights became officially terminated, which was in February of this year. As time progressed, however, they began to realize he was not thriving in his daycare environment and really needed the consistency of a stay-at-home mom.
On September 4 we went to Richmond to meet the case workers for Jonathan, along with 3 other couples who were being considered also. Whitney attended with us as she and I were on a return trip from WV at the time. We received a lot of scary information regarding this small child. It seemed as though everyone was desperately trying to find a label to fit his challenging behaviors.
We prayed long and hard, asking for prayers from our church, and consulting with another family who had adopted twins with similar adjustment difficulties, and with his social worker some more. After much deliberating, we decided it might not be in Jonathan's best interest for us to adopt him. Yet... God had decided otherwise and as we again reevaluated and considered, He brought us to realize that Jonathan is exactly the little one God has hand-picked for our family.
I was invited to go to see Jonathan and watch him interact in his kindergarten class on the 19th of September to see for myself his animated eyes and his behavior. He did not know who I was. I enjoyed playing with blocks with him, watching him play learning games on a computer, which he loved, and hang out at a drawing center, which he did not have any interest in. That day, realizing that Jonathan has many difficulties and challenges to overcome, I fell crazy in love with this precious little boy and together our family decided we are committed to loving Jonathan for a lifetime.
Jonathan's social worker met with his foster parents yesterday to let them know they found a family for him. We, or maybe just I, will meet with Jonathan and his social workers at a restaurant on Tuesday the 23rd, where we/I will be introduced to him as his new parents. His social workers are still trying to decide if it would be better for him to meet us together or one at a time.
Thursday, September 25, both Tim and I will get a chance to spend 2 hours with Jonathan. We will then go, perhaps to his foster home, to meet with his foster parents and see where he has been living for the past almost 3 years.
After these initial meetings, we will be meeting with Jonathan at least 3 times per week, working up to an overnighter and to eventually him moving in with us.
We are looking forward to celebrating Jonathan's 6th birthday with him on September 30, and hoping he will be permanently in our home by mid October.
Blessings to all,
Janette

My Life Today

2008-09-13T14:42:00.002-04:00

Today, I woke up to a beautiful new day with my family. We were also very blessed to have with us Tim's parents, having just arrived yesterday evening. They were very game and joined us in an evening of contra dancing with other families from our church. I met them all for the evening after spending an hour earlier in the day at a kindergarten class looking in on a little 5 year old boy. This visit was the preliminary visit to see if we want to go through with the process of bringing this little one into our home. We are so excited that God has brought this sweet little boy, Jonathan into our lives to become our new youngest son. We know that Jonathan is the child that God has put on our hearts to pray for these past three years and we are looking for the many upcoming years of being a part of his life.

Vacation in Montana

2008-07-03T07:04:00.003-04:00

I awoke in Montana this morning at exactly 4:00am. Everyone is sleeping in. That is, they are not up yet. I arrived yesterday early afternoon, but my luggage did not. It seemed to think it needed more time in Denver. It took almost more than I could handle to go to bed last night in borrowed pj's and without my stuff that I use for my bedtime ritual. Hopefully all will be well later this morning with the arrival of my suit case.
It was so good to see my family yesterday. I even got to see April since she was in town doing some shopping with a friend. I have not seen many of my nieces and nephew yet, though I look forward to seeing more of them on the 4th. Gale, my brother's wife will be having a BBQ at Mom and Dad's to celebrate. I am anxious to see everyone and have a visit.
Everything is so green here. It has rained an unusually high amount this year and for the first time in my memory, it is still green and lush in July. Mom and Dad have done so much to this place. It looks fresh and pretty. And, of course, it still has that refreshing peacefulness to it. I still love this place.
News: I got a call from our adoption matchmaker yesterday. We are being seriously considered for a group of 3 children from Ohio. This is our first time of being considered at this level. The children of course are beautiful. However, we know very little about them yet other than the write-up we read online. Those seem to be written in rosy colors. Well, we shall see.
The sun is finally rising. I think I will head of to see what lies ahead this day.
Ta-ta

Afternoon at the Beach

2008-06-06T20:22:00.002-04:00

Whitney has her friend, Becca, from Montana, here visiting us for a few weeks and we have been trying to think up fun things to do while she is here. So...after cleaning the house and finishing up studies today, we decided to put the dogs in the car and head to the beach. It was very hot in our neighborhood, but was surprisingly cool at the beach, and the coast was thick with fog. The kids played in the water, Frisbee and catch with the football for a time before the girls joined me on the side to read. I think the boys would have played late into the evening without stopping. They love the beach. I, however was getting chilled and wanted to get home to get dinner on. How wonderful it is to live so close to such a beautiful creation as the beach.

A Very Full Day

2008-05-31T20:50:00.000-04:00

We filled this day all the way to the brim. We started the day after devotions heading off to Nathaniel's last baseball game of the season. Tim went off to work since he had marathon board meetings to attend this week. Nathaniel's team finally came off with a win, after the other the other team gave them their best player, their pitcher. Afterward, we visited for a bit while munching a bite to eat with the homeschool moms that we had met and became friend with through the season.

We ran a few errands on the way home. We were pleasantly surprised to find that Tim had beat us home. It would have been so easy to waste away the hot afternoon, but we pulled up our boot straps and got outside. Tim and the boys loaded up our old washer and dryer to give to a young couple at church tomorrow who are in need of them. Nathaniel went to the neighbors to do a yard job for them for his new business, We Care Lawn Care. Whitney worked to prepare the meal for after church tomorrow and then came out to help. Tim, David and I, and later Whitney, tackled moving the goat fence again to provide more produce for the goats. It was very hot, around 90', and very humid. We were working in the brush and the bugs. It was not a fun job, but it feels so good to have the job done. We will hook up electricity to the part where we were short goat fence on Monday, but the labor is finished and the goats can clear out the irrigation ditch and save us some hay.

I so enjoy the Saturdays that we can work and sweat together as a family to accomplish a big goal and feel exhausted and satisfied at the end of the day. God truly did creat work, or it would not feel so good to accomplish it.

Off to a deep and restful sleep and the Lord's day tomorrow.

Good Night.

Beautiful Spring Day

2008-05-30T14:49:00.000-04:00

Well, what a beautiful day to be outside. I have been in front of my new computer for a lot of the day, but was out for a bit too. I went for a lovely walk with my neighbor. We chatted about our mutual interest in foster children, adoption, our pets, and the proper perspective in regards to animals in our world, seeing that they are not "made in the image of God"as people are. We enjoy uplifting and encouraging each other in our challenges in life.

Whitney and I got out and entirely weeded our little garden in the back yard today. We planted only a few plants this year to make sure it did not get away from us, and it almost has already. We have planted peas (Whitney's babies), carrots, spinach, beets, onions, bell peppers and tomatoes. The peas are the most interesting at this point, as they seem to have a fear of heights and yet they are long gangley things. They have been trying to crawl along the ground. Whitney careful strung them up the fence in hopes they behave more pea-like. We are up against a strong battle with weeds however, as our fertilizer came from the back pasture, and contained many weed seeds.

We also tied out our horse and goats to help keep the grass and weeds and feed bill down. They seem to enjoy the fresh produce. It doesn't really take too much effort to tie them out, but still it seems to be one of those tasks we put off as long as possible. Pounding in stakes, leading out misbehaving goats, putting out and filling up water containers and then making sure they don't tangle themselves all adds up to a bit of inconvenience that we often prefer to skip.

Tim will be working late tonight with board meetings going on. The boys are finished with a light day of chores. I didn't pressure them to get much school accomplished since they are for the most part finished for the summer. I have decided we will not entirely quit schooling this summer though. I think it will be good to keep them occupied. Whitney is studying continuously and not prepared to take the summer off. She is ready for the next CLEP exam, so things are a little lighter for her at this time, with the final prep being the taking of practice exams.

I suppose I had better get on with my day.

Blessings upon you!